Loving kindness for self is hard to practice. 

But what if you tried it on for just a few minutes – one decision, one moment at a time, without judgment, but rather with permission, Tender-Loving-Kindness, and compassion?

What if you turned toward loving kindness and took a few steps in that direction, even if you can’t make it all the way there?

Turn yourself in the direction of your heart.

Hold onto kindness, compassion, and love.

That is my invitation to you today, no matter your grief or how long ago it’s been or not been.  

Some Suggestions for Tender-Loving-Kindness

1. TLK might be letting yourself sleep as much as you need to without yelling at yourself about it.
2. It might be saying no to a social engagement
3. Cut yourself some slack and back off the demands you place on yourself.
4. It might mean pushing yourself sometimes, taking yourself out of the softer nest of distraction, and exploring the bigger landscape of pain.
5. It is knowing the difference between pain and suffering.   

As said before, pain is normal and inevitable in grief; however, suffering is optional and comes when:

• Suffering comes when we feel dismissed or unsupported in our pain.  
• Suffering comes when we thrash around in our pain, questioning our choices, our “normalcy,” our actions and reactions.
• Suffering comes from being told not to feel what you feel.
• Suffering comes from being told that there is something wrong with what you feel.
• Suffering comes when we don’t get enough sleep, don’t eat, spend too much time with toxic people, or pretend we’re not in as much pain as we’re in.
• Suffering comes when friends, colleagues, and strangers who, with the best of intentions, correct, judge, or advise on how we need to grieve better.
• Suffering comes when we rehash the events that led up to the death or loss, punishing ourselves for not preventing it, not knowing more, not doing more, not preventing it.

Suffering brings with it fear, anxiety, and isolation.

If we are to make this better, our suffering is where we need to look for change.

More to come on how to tend to your pain and adjust your suffering.

What Tender-Loving-Kindness looks like will change, but your commitment to it can remain the same.  

That’s where your safety is- Knowing You Won’t Leave Yourself 💗

Knowing that to the best of your ability, you will come to yourself with Tender-Loving-Kindness at any moment.

In a world that feels off-kilter, shaken, and out of sync, your commitment to Tender-Loving-Kindness offers stability and creates the necessary space to tend to your beautiful heart.