Heart Speak, My Blog

What is Codependency?

At its root, codependency is a conditioned fear-based reaction and attempt to control or manipulate another person in order to hold onto an unhealthy, dependent relationship, often times treating the relationship and the person as a possession.
It is living from a place of being a victim.
Why is this happening to me?
Look what you did to me.

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Getting Raw & Real About Codependency

Getting Raw & Real About Codependency

“The dis-ease of looking outside oneself”  Nikki Myers Today, I want to have a very real conversation with you about codependency and how it plays out and wreaks havoc in your life. It’s my experience and belief that codependency has been very underestimated and...

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The Power Lies in The Pause

The Power Lies in The Pause

As a woman who grew up needing and learning to survive in my family, my ability to perceive danger became very keen. This meant I had to stay alert, on top of things, keep my guard up, antenna raised, and radar on. In the world of recovery, this is known as...

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Are you doing the same thing expecting different results?

Are you doing the same thing expecting different results?

I was inspired to share a poem that I can relate to, and I'm sure you can, too. It's common to have the same reaction to a situation, unknowingly forming habits, creating our own patterns. Most of the time, we don't see these patterns until they are so ingrained in us...

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The Woman in the Mirror

The Woman in the Mirror

Twenty-five years ago I was in a marriage steeped in addiction with a teenage daughter who was on the slippery slope of drugs, boys, and all that involves. I felt lost, scared, alone, confused, and desperate for change, even though I had no idea where to turn, who to...

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Steps to happiness: #2 Character

Steps to happiness: #2 Character

“You can’t heal what you don’t feel” A few weeks ago, we began looking at the seven steps to happiness in recovery by defining addiction and recovery, with the first step toward happiness being commitment. Commitment to change, sobriety, honesty, healing, to the...

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The 7 Steps to Happiness in Recovery

The 7 Steps to Happiness in Recovery

I want to distinguish between addiction and recovery for the sake of talking about happiness, as there can be no true happiness or freedom while in active addiction of any kind. All happiness, all healing, all recovery begins on the inside. It is an inside job.

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Your Issues are in Your Tissues

“You can’t heal what you don’t feel”
It is a scientific fact that we hold our traumas and emotions in our muscles/tissues and our body remembers even if our mind doesn’t. We can’t talk trauma or grief out or away. The only way that we change is through an experience of healing that you can feel.

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Recovery is a Family Matter

Recovery is a Family Matter

"When my daughter gets better, then I'll feel better." "When we know our son is safe and ok, then we'll get back to thinking about our retirement." "I can’t even imagine taking a vacation— I'd just be worried about my kid the whole time." I've worked with hundreds of...

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The  Power of Women’s Heart Circles

The Power of Women’s Heart Circles

The first step for any woman considering change in her life is to tap into her courage and take that first step toward freedom. The word "courage" has its root in the latin word "cor" or "heart." As Brene Brown writes, courage means telling the story of who you are...

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